The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
