we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
