hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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