yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
