This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
