Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
