Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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