How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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