Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
