"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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