I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
