Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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