she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
