another moral hangover. fuck.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
