So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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