So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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