Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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