she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Randomize
