I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
