dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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