very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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