I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
