In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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