did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
