i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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