It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
