i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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