What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
