this boner is exhausting
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My ass is underappreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize