imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
