You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
