True but thats because hes a fetus.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
