So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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