got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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