If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
