I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
