Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
