Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize