i want to swaddle you in tequila
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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