Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
