its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
