I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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