In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
