awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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