I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
