Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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