I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Small penises have feelings too.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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