If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
