she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
