sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
