I hope mine doesn't look like that
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
