Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
