Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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