their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
