If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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