Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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