last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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