Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Is it penis luge time yet?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
