and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
