need another drink. this is the easiest way
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
