Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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