Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
